Teenager Trouble-shooting: 30 Tips and Frequently Asked Questions About Raising Adolescents

Few would argue that parenting a teenager is hard work. This is a book that every parent, grandparent, guardian, carer and mentor will want to read because we all want happy, responsible children.

You will discover:

• Why adolescence is so "rocky"
• The secrets to giving your teenager healthy self-esteem
• How you help your teenager become responsible
• How to help your adolescent find their own identity as a young adult
• The three key questions that adolescents need to answer for themselves
• The four major ways in which adolescents are able to find their own identity
• How as parents you "let go"

Testimonials:
"In this book Darryl details for us the essential issues of adolescence and the incredible experience for the teenager, the parents and the whole family….Identity with independence but connection, what a great formula for living. I recommend this book to all families that want to look at these crucial issues. It is an informative text but elaborated in a warm and very human way."
John G. McManus, Chief Psychologist, Corporate Health Services, Sydney, Australia

"This is the kind of book that school principals would wish that many of their parents would read and act on…it contains a wealth of practical experience about how to manage adolescents.....there is nothing theoretical about this book....and it covers nitty-gritty areas that parents often ask about. I wish this book had been around years ago."
Chris McCabe, Principal, Xavier College, Melbourne, Australia

"This book is in effect a coaching manual for parents….The pointers provided to effective parenting represent much more than a "pep talk". The reader is specifically shown how to develop their parenting skills in a way that will enhance both their self-efficacy and self-esteem. I strongly recommend this book for parents of adolescents. It also is a useful resource for others with a duty of care for young people in this age group."
Professor John Taplin, Department of Psychology, University of Adelaide, Australia

"An excellent aid for parents raising teenagers. It provides understanding and practical tips which if followed will guide you through the many challenges. An important book for parents who care."
Peter Marshman, Chairman, Youth Opportunities Inc, South Australia

About the book:
The first chapter of this book says what we all know, that parenting adolescents is one of the most challenging and hardest jobs around. Yet, surprisingly in this new millennium, in this age of scientific discovery, we still have no real guides or training manuals to assist us to make the job any easier. If anything, with all the changes that our society is experiencing and all the stresses of life that seem to confront us, the parenting role may even be getter harder. We as parents are unsure about where to draw the line now; what's right and what's not; what rules apply now; what's acceptable and what's not. This book is designed to throw some light on an area in which most of us struggle somewhat or flounder.

The second chapter outlines some of the basics that we need to understand in raising children. The early years are the critical years because this is when the basic personality is laid down. It is a bit like building a house. First the foundations (childhood), then the walls (adolescence) and finally the roof (adulthood). Life is a series of stages that we grow through and each stage builds upon the previous stage. If the lessons of each stage, including adolescence, are not learnt, the individual continues in life, but their development can be short-circuited. The final section in this chapter highlights the notion that all children arrive on the planet with their own unique personalities. So that means of course, that the way that you treat one child doesn't mean that you can treat another one the same way. It also means that as parents, we need to watch and observe our children's unique strengths and build on their individual talents and abilities.

The third chapter highlights that the task for both the adolescent and the parents is for the adolescent to achieve independence. But that's where all the fun starts too. That's where the conflict happens, the arguments occur and where guerrilla warfare sometimes erupts. How do you work through this? How do you as parents let go? What are the steps that you need to undertake successfully to get through it all?

The fourth chapter focuses on the real task of adolescence, namely, to find one's own unique identity. Although adolescence in Western society is not a clear rite of passage as it is in other cultures, this chapter outlines the three key questions that adolescents need to answer for themselves and the four major ways in which adolescents are able to find their own identity.

The fifth chapter outlines the job that we have to do as parents in order to assist our adolescents through this passage and into adulthood.

The sixth chapter contains 30 hints for raising adolescents that come out of my own clinical work as a psychologist and as a parent. These are practical hints that cover all sorts of situations including tips for single parents.

The seventh chapter covers a good number of critical questions that are commonly asked by parents and guardians not only at the various seminars and workshops that I have presented at over the last few decades, but in the privacy of clinical consultations.

The eighth chapter brings the book to a close with a short story followed by an appendix showing an example of a contract that has been drawn up by an adolescent and her parents.

Throughout this book are numbers of examples and illustrations that are direct from my case notes and files. The experiences come out of the seclusion of a psychologist's office and consulting sessions. The names and circumstances of course, have been altered to ensure complete anonymity.

Parenting along with being a marriage partner or permanent partner is one of the most difficult roles that I know. Both roles come with no real training or instruction. We literally "fly by the seat of our pants".

Somehow or other, we get it more or less right. Naturally, in hindsight we can often see where we could have done it differently, but then of course, that's the distinct advantage of hindsight. Nevertheless, we gave it our best shot. Our children could ask for nothing more. This book is an aid in assisting this whole process.

This is a practical "how to" book that needs to be in every home where there is a teenager.

"Teenager Trouble-shooting: 30 Tips and Frequently Asked Questions About Raising Adolescents" is available for secure purchase online at $25 copy plus $7.50 postage and handling.